Jason X

At full disclosure, I’ve seen this movie twice before, but it’s been a few years. And in what is turning out to be “Sarah is possibly a bad horror fan” post day, this is the only movie in the Friday the 13^th series I reallyreally like. The majority of the series I can’t tell apart and they all meld together for me, especially 1-7. It’s not until Jason Takes Manhattan does the series go outside the rural camp setting. I’ve only seen Jason Takes Manhattan once, but I know it actually takes place on a ship. For some odd reason, I’ve seen Jason Goes to Hell twice, because BET used to show it a lot a few years ago, and while it’s still kind of rural, it takes place in a small town (Why BET showed it so much, I don’t know. I remember two African-American actors in the whole thing, and they were in the beginning). So where does Jason X take place? SPACE, Y’ALL! 450 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE! And take heart, people in the future will still be hella stupid, including an authority figure played by David Cronenberg.

Jason X begins in the year 2010. Jason is still unkillable, so the Crystal Lake Research Facility decides it would be best to cryogenically freeze him until they can figure something out. A scientist authority figure played by David Cronenberg, with the army’s backing, insists that they take Jason and study him. As they show up to detain him, the soldier, general, and Cronenberg’s character are all killed. Rowan, the research official who was against the idea of detaining him to begin with, somehow gets Jason into the cryogenic chamber and turns it on. Of course, she stupidly looks through the porthole, and Jason stabs her in the stomach through the door. The room and chamber go into safe mode, and she is frozen too.

Between watching this and The Howling in one night, this all leads to the question, which director is better at acting? John Sayles, who wrote The Howling, makes a cameo as a coroner in that film, and Roger Corman has a non-speaking cameo role. David Cronenberg actually won an award for acting in Clive Barker’s Nightbreed, but he’s a bit iffy in Jason X. John Sayles is okay in The Howling, in a talky New Yorker sort of way, he was almost a premonition of sorts for Quentin Tarantino’s acting attempts. So um, I vote for Corman as the guy in line for the payphone in The Howling. He had no lines.

In 2455, a class on an expedition comes across the Crystal Lake Research Facility, and the cryogenics room where Rowan and Jason still are. They open the chamber first, and are immediately puzzled by Jason’s hockey mask, because as one character states, hockey was outlawed in 2033. They find Rowan under a pile of tubes or wires, and realize that they can save her, and call in their ship to come pick them up. And the stupid stoner kid gets his arm chopped off by Jason as his raised arm is defrosting, but the stupid stoner kid can be repaired too.

This film is actually an advertisement for nanotechnology and virtual reality, and possibly knitted clothing. Injured people such as Rowan and stupid stoner guy are healed by these shiny wormy things that swarm upon the injury and quickly repair it. It’s kind of cool and eventually kind of tedious to watch. Of course, Jason is brought back to life and to new at least twice in this movie with nanotechnology. And there are a lot of knitted clothes in this movie. I guess because space is cold, although I really did not get the knitted off-the-shoulders crop top with quarter sleeves and a knitted sports bra outfit of the first victim. The sports bra-looking top was over the longer sweater, which I guess is a nod to the early 1990s.

Anyway, it’s not long before Jason is killing people again. He defrosts and kills a student who was beginning to dissect him. The professor has already contacted people at a nearby station called Solaris about selling Jason, because he needs the money. His contact says that Jason would go for a lot of money. Because even 450 years from now, having brutally murdered 250 people in your lifetime is a big deal and some rich jackass who is really into collecting serial killer memorabilia would probably really like a serial killer of his own. Or you know, one can sell Jason for research, which has gone really well so far. But the professor’s plans quickly change after Jason kills a second student, and the leader of the space army or marines goes on a hunt for Jason, which doesn’t turn out well.

Jason X is the perfect amount of absurd. There are actually jokes in this one, and they’re usually funny-in-a-corny sort of way. Did I mention there’s a female cyborg on board the ship? It’s ridiculous, especially once she is reprogrammed and she and Jason battle. And being in space and in the future means that there are more creative ways to die, although Jason does use his old machete often. But the nerdy guy and the cyborg recreate “Camp Crystal Lake, circa 1980” in virtual reality at one point to give Jason a diversion, and it’s actually one of the funnier moments in the film. Although at times I was wishing that I was watching Aliens again instead, Jason X is a fun movie to watch as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

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